Back to the before

May 9, 2022

Opening my eyes I look around taking in the strange environment.  I'm sitting on a white floor, in a black room with marble hand sculptures all around, making all different kinds of gestures. It's rather chilly and immediately I get cold chills running down my spine. There is no sound, no wind, no breathing, no steps, no nothing but the "sound" of the void itself. Right above me, there is a light bulb weary connected to a huge finger, pointing down at me.

I can feel the anxiety washing over me and my mind, quite tipsy as it feels starts working against me.

"Where am I?" I asked no one really, but in the void, my voice boomed and echoed breaking the dreadful silence.
"You are in the fear room!" Answered happily a voice from somewhere in the void.
My voice got stuck and my throat refused to make any sound as I was waiting for the voice to continue.
"My, my, what a beautiful person you are! Such fairness, such kindness... Such courage..." Suddenly the platform I was sitting on moved, making me lose balance and fall to my knees. "Yes, very courageous, like a little mouse!"

The hands on the walls made some cracking noises and dust and crumbles of stone and paint started falling. They started moving, their fingers stretching and scratching, some slapping one another.

Busy as I was, watching the terrifying scene of rebirthing I haven't seen nor felt the platform moving until it came to a stop and again, I was tossed around.

"Hello, little mouse." And this time I was greeted by a huge eyeball looking straight at me. "Wh-h-ho a-a-re y-you?"

" I am your fear. Your deepest terror. Your downest point if you'd like."
The hands started clapping filling the void with sound.
"stop it....stop it...STOP IT!" I cried covering my ears. The sound only intensified.
"Or what?" Laughed the voice. "What can a mouse do?" He laughed again. "Tell me!"

He laughed even harder making my ears ring due to the sound. My nails started digging in the ground and my legs were nicely folded to my chest.
I needed to get out. I had to. And then I realised.
"You are not real, NONE OF THIS IS REAL!"
and I was once again sitting on the white floor, in the pitch-black room. This time the bulb was hanging from an unseen ceiling.
The voiceless void was quiet, making me hear only the blood running through my veins.
"Are you sure, courageous mouse?"
To which I promptly answered.
"No! But I know that you don't scare me anymore!"
The voice laughed.

" 'Till next time... scarily mouse."
I opened my eyes, and I was at home, in my bed, sweating from head to toe, but I was safe and somehow better.


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